The Basics of a Healthy Relationship

If you are a victim of teen dating violence, it may be hard to talk about. Perhaps it isn’t you but you have observed a close friend experience abusive behavior by a boyfriend or girlfriend.

So, what makes a relationship healthy?
* Both people feel respected, supported, and valued
* Both people make decisions together
* Both people have friends and interests outside of the relationship
* Both people settle disagreements with open and honest communication
* Both people respect each other’s privacy and space

What makes a relationship unhealthy?
* One or both people try to change the other
* One person makes most or all of the decisions
* One or both people drop friends and interests outside of the relationship
* One or both people yell, threaten, hit, or throw things during arguments
* One or both people make fun of the other’s opinions or interests
* One or both people keep track of the other all the time by calling, texting, or checking in with friends

What can you do to prevent dating violence?

1. First, take some time to think about how you want to be treated in a relationship.
2. How do you want to feel about yourself when you with that person?
3. Set boundaries about what is acceptable behavior
4. Recognize the signs
5. If you don’t feel comfortable telling the person you don’t like their behavior, ask for help. Talk to a friend, a parent, teacher, counselor, or someone you can trust.

Take moment to watch this short video about dating violence. Be sure to watch it to the end and scan the code. 🙂

Teen Dating Violence

To evaluate your relationship, take one of the quizzes below or share them with a friend.

Healthy Dating Quiz for Girls

Healthy Dating Relationship Quiz for Teen

Getting help is as simple as talking to a friend. Don’t be afraid, embarrassed, or ashamed to ask for help.

24/7 National U.S. Hotlines

Teen Dating Abuse Helpline: 1-866-331-9474

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673

Trevor Lifeline (for LGBTQ* youth): 1-866-488-7386

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255

National Runaway Safeline: 1-800-786-2929

National Domestic Violence Hotline – 1-800-799-7233

National Hotline for Crime Victims: 1-855-484-2846

National Street Harassment Hotline: 1-855-897-5910

Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month

Did you know that last year 1 in 10 teens who went out on a date were physically abused? The statistic includes boys who abused girls and girls who abused boys.

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month. While every relationship is different, violence is violence and you should know the facts.

• For high school students, 1 in 3 experience physical or sexual violence or both by someone they are dating.
• Dating abuse is a public health issue that affects people of all ages, backgrounds, and identities
• Studies report that dating violence and abuse has started as early as age 11
• One in five teens who have been in a serious relationship report being hit, slapped or pushed by a partner.
• Nearly one in four girls who have been in a relationship (23%) reported going further sexually than they wanted as a result of pressure
• One in three girls between the ages of 16 and 18 say sex is expected for people their age if they’re in a relationship; half of the teen girls who have experienced sexual pressure report they are afraid the relationship would break up if they did not give in.
• One in two teens who have been in a serious relationship say they’ve gone against their beliefs in order to please their partner.

This lists of facts are endless and this post could go on for days. My point here is to get your attention, increase your awareness and help you to understand as to prevent you from becoming an abuser or becoming abused.

The subject is important to your health and wellbeing, so I’ve created a series for February. During the month of February, each weekly post will focus on Teen Dating Violence. So, what is dating violence/abuse?

Dating abuse is a pattern of physically, sexually, or emotionally abusive behavior over a period of time that is used to exert power and control over a current or past dating partner

Break The Cycle 2018

What do power and control look like in a relationship? Below are a few examples

• Checking cell phones, emails or social networks without permission
• Extreme jealousy or insecurity
• Constant belittling or put-downs
• Explosive temper
• Isolation from family and friends
• Making false accusations
• Constant mood swings towards you
• Physically inflicting pain or hurt in any way
• Possessiveness
• Telling someone what they can and cannot do
• Repeatedly pressuring someone to have sex

The effects of an abusive relationship can impact your health. Someone who has experienced dating violence may struggle with depression, low self-confidence,  eating disorders, drug or alcohol abuse, or other violent relationships.

Someone who abuses their partner may experience, loss of respect from others, loneliness, trouble with the law, and, suspension from school.

The results of violence in a relationship are harmful to everyone. If you or someone you know is experiencing teen violence, please tell someone. Talk to your parents, a family member, your counselor, or another caring and responsible adult.

You can also get help from Loveisrespect. Loveisrespect is an organization that offers support and information for teens and their parents or friends who have concerns about dating relationships. To get in touch with a trained peer advocate, you can:

Call 1-866-331-9474
Text “loveis” to 22522
Chat online at https://www.loveisrespect.org/

The next post will focus on tips and strategies on how to establish and maintain healthy relationships.

Sources: http://www.breakthecycle.org, http://www.8.miamidade.gove, http://healthfinder.gov